healthy relationship cycles

this has been up for me lately.

professionally, i see it in just about every couple that walks through my door.

and personally, my teenage kids remind of it pretty much everyday day.

for many people, the expectation is that you can have harmonious relationships.

but here’s the TRUTH: relationships are a constant cycle of harmony, disharmony, and repair.

and this is healthy.

fortunately, once you understanding this truth, you can get on with learning how to navigate your connections with more grace and resilience.

harmony

harmony in relationships feels like being in sync with the other person – easeful.

it’s when communication flows effortlessly, you’re on the same wavelength, and there’s a sense of mutual respect and understanding.

during these periods, it’s important to nurture this connection by expressing gratitude, spending quality time together, and continuing to communicate openly.

this investment will payoff during tougher times.

disharmony

again, disharmony is a natural part of any healthy relationship cycle.

it might manifest as misunderstandings, disagreements, or feelings of disconnection.

when disharmony arises, it’s important to approach it with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

the key is not to fear these moments but to view them as opportunities for growth.

repair

repair is the critical process that follows disharmony.

without it, your relationships will deteriorate.

repair requires accountability, empathy, and vulnerability.

repair not only heals the immediate rift but also strengthens the overall resilience of your relationship.

this is where trust is built.

practical steps for repair in relationships

1. ACCOUNTABILITY: take ownership for your part without making excuses or shifting blame. (e.g. “I…“)
2. ACKNOWLEDGE (impact on feelings): let your partner know you understand their feelings and that their feelings are valid. (e.g. “I understand you are hurt, that makes sense”)
3. APOLOGIZE: communicate genuine remorse for the impact of your actions. (e.g. “I’M sorry”)
4. ADDRESS ISSUE: commit to finding ways to address the issue and prevent it from recurring. (e.g. “next time I will message you if I’M running late.”

remember, healthy relationships will experience cycles of harmony, disharmony, and repair.

embracing these phases with a mindset of growth and understanding can lead to deeper, more meaningful connections.

wishing you increasingly smooth cycles,

donald