let’s talk about sex

so this article is primarily geared toward readers who identify as a man.

here’s the take away: stop prioritizing sex

i’m serious.

now, obviously, sex is an incredibly important part of any healthy relationship, so i’m not suggesting you remove it from your priority list altogether.

but i’m willing to bet, unless you’ve figured this out already, you likely over prioritize sex.

this is what happens when you do that:

• your partner feels obligated, pressured and resents you for it.
• sex becomes some sort of bargaining chip or weapon to leverage other needs in the relationship.
• your relationship become transactional and dull.
• your sex life suffers and you end up not having sex with your partner.

in contrast, as you prioritize other domains of intimacy, like emotional, intellectual, and spiritual, you get this:

• engagement and vitality in the relationship
• learning and growth, both individually and as a couple
• personal freedom
• a partner that honors, respects, and cherishes you
• a connected and thriving sex life.

UPSHOT: an overemphasis on the sexual domain of relational intimacy creates imbalance.

this is true whether you are currently in a sexual relationship or interested in pursing one.

ACTION ITEM: put sex on the “back burner” this week by reducing the amount of time and energy you typically give it.

for example, if you have sex twice a week, try once, or if you watch pornography, don’t watch it.

then notice what happens…

have fun,

donald