relational ecology

June 14, 2024

relational ecology

here’s an important perspective: your relationship is a complex and dynamic system.

understanding your relationship as a system and recognizing the interconnectedness of you actions – and their ripple effects – you can shift your energy away from fixing “problems” to creating a healthier, more supportive environment in which to thrive.

what’s in it for me we?

shifting to a relational style of leadership involves moving from a more traditional “power-over” dynamic to a “power-with” orientation.

“power-with” refers to an individual’s ability to speak and act from a place of “same as” while simultaneously serving to empower the relationship.

why would you do this?

simple, it’s in your best interest.

the wisdom of ecology

to think relationally is to think ecologically.

as a relational leader, you recognize that you operate within interconnected systems.

your actions in any situation, whether in a global context or in a romantic relationship, have ripple effects.

in this way, relational leadership is about caring for your own biosphere.

so caring for others is not just altruism – it’s wise self-interest.

you undermine your own well-being by neglecting the well-being of others.

to put it more bluntly, don’t piss in your own pool.

what next?

in the coming week focus on caring for your biosphere by empowering your relationships, even just a little.


1) do one small act of relational empowerment everyday this week.

good options include:

  • praise: “that was an amazing presentation”
  • compliment: “i really like those shoes, man”
  • appreciation: “honey, i want you to know i appreciate you dropping the kids off at school everyday”
  • generosity: “lunch is on me today”

2) notice the impact of your actions – be intentional – keep track by writing them down.

that’s all for this week!

here’s to swimming in the clean waters of wise selfishness,


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