who makes up your support network?

in my last post we talked about the growing problem of insufficient and overburdened support networks – take a look if you missed it.

this post, let’s take a closer look at your own.

i invited you last time to make a list of people in your life. now, we’ll go a bit deeper by exploring the role each person plays.

your support network?

take stock of the people in your life and the role they play by completing a relationship inventory.

grab a pen and divide a sheet of paper into four columns.

1. column 1: list everyone you interact with regularly. this includes family, friends, neighbors, colleagues – anyone who’s a part of your life
2. column 2: write down the need(s) or benefit(s) each person meets for you. this could be humor, recreation, emotional support, advice, perspective, spiritual guidance, etc.
3. column 3: note how you contribute to each relationship. relationships are reciprocal, so it’s important to reflect on your role as well.
4. column 4: ask yourself, “is this person supporting me? are they helping me become a better version of myself?” your answer could be yes, no, or somewhere in between.

the hard part: reflection

this can be tricky because relationships can be complex.

if your answer in column 4 is “yes”, keep nurturing those connections. relationships, like plants, need regular care to thrive.

if the answer is a clear “no,” it might be time to reconsider how much space this person takes up in your life.

for those who fall in the middle – like a boss or a family member – it might not be practical to remove them from your life, but you can rethink your boundaries with them.

ask yourself:

• is this person good for me?
• do i need to set new boundaries?
• am i contributing enough to this relationship?
• is something missing?
• do i not have enough people to rely on?

what other questions come up as you think about your support network?

my hope is this process gives you more awareness and choice in your relationships.

of course, if you want any guidance or accountability as you work through this, feel free to reach out.

wishing you a bountiful relational garden,

donald

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