work life balance
May 22, 2023
here is a key lesson i’ve learned about work life balance.
the problem
you work your ass off all day. you put it in a solid effort. you get home and you look at all the shit that has to be done.
dishes
laundry
kids
dogs
getting ready for taxes
painting the bedroom
whatever…
there is no way you’re going to get any time to relax and chill, or do anything you might actually enjoy.
and often, even if you could scrape up some extra time, you’re dealing with no energy.
so you default to laying on the couch watching netflix or doom scrolling…
the real problem
the problem with work life balance is meaningless activity.
if you’re like most human beings on the planet, you’re doing things because you think they have to be done.
these activities are your responsibilities (and they might be) or in the case of marriages or committed relationships, obligations.
you do many things because you “have to” or to avoid the hassle of consequences (e.g. fighting with your partner about it).
whatever your reason, the bottom line is your activities are unfulfilling.
your activities are not connected to what’s really important to you.
herein lies the lesson
the lesson
the key to work life balance is understanding that balance has nothing to do with time or time management.
balance doesn’t mean you spend 50% of your time at work and 50% of your time at home, or some other distribution of time.
it’s why scheduling and other time strategies like “blocking” don’t actually work, in terms of work life balance.
balance has to do with fulfillment
true balance is achieved when you feel FULFILLED at work AND in your personal life.
the solution
get clear on what brings you joy and what is most important to you.
write about what matters to you. talk to a friend. talk to a coach or counselor. go online and find a values clarification activity.
find out what fills you up. (e.g. time freedom, being helpful, service connection, environmental stewardship, spirituality, to name a few.)
then, in the words of the NIKE marketing team, “just do it.”
what’s brilliant about this activity is once you’re clear on what’s most important, you can not only start being more proactive about your life, but you can also notice where these values already exists in your life and be more intentional.
so now you can do the dishes, no longer out of obligation, but because being helpful is one of your core values.
the win
in this way, you’re now taking ownership through intentional action, you’re feeling accomplished and fulfilled, and you’re crafting your personal narrative as a helpful person.
it’s a win, win, win!
and if you live with somebody else, they’re going to appreciate that you are doing the dirty dishes.
win, win, win, win!
you’re now creating momentum in your life that becomes a snowball of fulfilling activities that ends up taking all of your time!
once you start living this way, you don’t have to worry about this thing that we call work life balance. it simply becomes obsolete.
wishing you much success